Moo X Treme
by iamdragonrider
Summary: An unexpected traveler comes through the Stargate. Its thin, its blue. And it speaks moo. Do you? Chapter 5: Sam wakes up. And our guest tries coffee and JellO.
1. Something Blue

_A/N: The idea for this story came to me after posting the post-epilogue chapter, _Got Moo?_ for my story Nine Lives, currently posted at under the penname iamdragonrider. I couldn't resist the concept or a bit of dialog that appeared in my head. While dialog for one particular character has been challenging to say the least, the story has been and hopefully will continue to be fun to write. I hope my readers will enjoy it too, and be patient with me, as the story is a work in progress, and it's not the only story I have in the works. Special thanks to Darkskywise for editing, re-editing, and re re-editing the story, as well as letting me play with StickHorsie._

_Disclaimer: __Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author._ _While_ _I don't own Stargate, or any of its characters, I do enjoy playing with them. StickHorsie is property of DarkSkywise, and used with permission. I promise to put all characters in this story back where I found them when I'm done._

_Summary: An unexpected traveler comes through the Stargate. Its thin. Its blue. And it speaks moo. Do you? Action/Adventure/Humor_

Moo X-Treme by iamdragonrider

_Chapter 1: Something Blue_

"Unscheduled off-world activation! Unscheduled off-world activation!" Boomed the voice of Sergeant Siler over the loudspeakers throughout the underground base. Airmen and marines rushed into the gate room, weapons at the ready, aimed at the large, round, spinning stargate, a piece of alien technology that very few people of Earth knew about. Even if the world did learn about the alien device, even fewer would believe that the enormous metal ring was capable of transporting people and objects across the galaxy, to countless numbers of worlds.

From various parts of the top-secret military base deep under Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado Springs, the members of the exploratory team, SG-1, arrived in the control room. The unlikely group that formed SG-1 had more than once saved the planet from threats that most people never would have imagined existed, making them the foremost experts on stargate travel.

"Incoming traveler, no IDC!" Sergeant Siler cried, intent on the readings in front of him.

"Close the iris! Now!" General Hammond ordered sharply, coming down the stairs from his office. Seconds later the metal iris ground shut over the engaging wormhole with a scraping sound that echoed in the cavernous embarkation room. The airmen arrayed in front of the gate stood at crisp attention, and everyone was tense with anticipation. Lights dimmed as the massive artifact drew power and an eerie blue watery light from the open wormhole reflected off the wall behind the gate bathing the room and everyone in it with its glow. All eyes were riveted on the metal iris, still tightly sealed.

"Sir!" Major Samantha Carter called out, her brow furrowed in uncharacteristic confusion. A theoretical astrophysicist and the planet's most knowledgeable expert on the stargate, Major Carter was invaluable to the Stargate Program.

"What is it Major?" The portly and balding General moved to stand behind the tall blonde woman as she studied her screen.

"I don't know sir, it can't be possible!" Her large blue eyes remained locked on the readouts. The data being presented didn't make sense! Not only that, but the information seemed to be defying the laws of physics that the scientific part of her held so dear.

"Carter?" Barked a gruff voice, which she immediately recognized as the voice of her immediate superior, Colonel Jack O'Neill. The colonel was scowling, his arms crossed over his chest, and his short brown and gray peppered hair was ruffled from running his hands through it.

Shaking off the mystery, Carter tried to explain. "Sorry sirs, something is reintegrating against the iris." Her fingers flew over the keyboard, expertly calling up data from different sources and already setting the computer running the necessary calculations.

"But that…" started General Hammond, his high brow creased. "Shouldn't be possible, yes sir, I know," interrupted Carter. "The iris is less than three micrometers from the event horizon, matter shouldn't be able to reintegrate! But somehow it's happening!"

She still wasn't sure how, but she was sure it was, and that was good enough for General Hammond. Immediately, he picked up the phone and called for additional backup, the safety of the base, possibly the entire planet, resting squarely on his shoulders.

"Look!" Siler called their attention to the gate, where something was going on. At his cry, everyone looked up. It was barely perceptible at first, but soon became apparent that something blue and thin was oozing out from between the closed leaves of the iris. The airmen and marines in the gate room tensed, faces expressionless. Dozens of weapons clicked, their aim never wavering as the blue shape slowly took form.

"What in God's name is _that_?" General Hammond was staring at the figure that now stood in front of the iris, but as of yet, hadn't made any move to step away from the gate. The figure was very flat. In fact, it looked a bit like someone had drawn it on the closed iris.

"No clue General," Colonel O'Neill shrugged, and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"I have never before seen such a creature General Hammond," intoned Teal'c, who was standing to the Colonel's left and studying the rather flat looking being in front of the stargate. The tall, dark skinned alien stood calmly with his hands clasped behind his back. A golden tattoo stood in stark relief on his forehead, accented by his smooth hairless head, both testaments to his time as service to a powerful alien creature posing as the ancient god Apophis. Bulging muscles rippled as the large man stood ready and waiting to assist as needed.

Standing on the other side of the colonel, Dr. Daniel Jackson, the team's archeologist and linguist chimed in. "Never heard of anything like this from anything we've come across so far." His blue eyes narrowed at the screen and his brow was wrinkled in concentration. Absently, he pushed his glasses up on his nose. While some might make the mistake of thinking that the young sandy haired man was weak, those closest to him knew that underneath his somewhat geeky exterior, there resided a sharp intelligence and strength, and not just the strength found in muscle.

Everyone turned to Major Carter, who had remained silent until now, staring at the blue figure, as if transfixed. There was a slight smile on her face. "Carter?" prompted O'Neill.

Blinking, she focused on her superior. "Sir?" she asked, slightly confused. O'Neill raised an eyebrow over his second's uncustomary lack of focus and inclined his head towards the problem. "Any ideas?"

A frown creased Carter's smooth face. She'd only seen it once before, and how it could possibly be here now she had absolutely no idea. She took a deep breath before replying.

"I think it's a StickHorsie, sir."

_To be continued…_

_Special notes: For those of you unfamiliar with the character of StickHorsie (and to see a picture!), a bit of the back story on the world famous StickHorsie that says 'Moo!' can be found at StickHorsie's official home on the web, OffTopic The Sequel, which can be found at: groups**dot**msn**dot**com/offtopicthesequel/horsie01**dot**msnw  
Just replace the **dots** with . _


	2. Do You Speak Moo?

_Chapter 2: Do You Speak Moo?_

After the Major's pronouncement, there was a brief lull of confused silence.

"A what!" the General demanded, ending the awkward moment. All eyes watched the Major expectantly. Carter flushed from the sudden scrutiny, and looked down at the computer screen as if she were double checking her readings. "A StickHorsie sir," she restated, squirming slightly.

"And how would you know what it is, Major?" the General asked incredulously.

"I, uh, well…. I saw it on the internet." Her cheeks had become a rather attractive shade of pink.

"Sir! I think it's trying to communicate!" Siler drew their attention back to the figure, which indeed looked as if someone, in a moment of sheer inspiration, had taken a blue marker and then had drawn a rather cheerful stick horse on the closed iris. Above the creature's head, something that looked suspiciously like a blue outlined conversation bubble had appeared, and letters were starting to form on the milky white surface in the center.

The General frowned at the new development. "What's it saying?" he asked.

"Looks like 'Moo!'" said Colonel O'Neill, leaning forward and squinting through the thick glass that shielded the control room.

"Moo?" questioned Daniel, "Why would a horse be saying moo?"

Jack glared at the younger man. "I don't know Daniel, maybe it's confused. You're the linguist for cryin' out loud!"

"Well I don't speak Moo, Jack." Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and glared back at the leader of his team.

"You speak how many languages, and you don't speak Moo?" countered Jack.

"Do _you_ speak Moo, Jack?" argued Daniel.

"Gentlemen, _please_." The General ended the impromptu argument before Jack could reply and turned back to Major Carter, who was again looking at the creature with a goofy grin on her face. "Major, do you believe this… StickHorsie… to be any threat to us?"

Carter gave herself a little shake, and turned her full attention to the General. "No sir. From what I remember, StickHorsie is a peace loving, friendly creature; I don't believe it would harm us. In fact, I think we are scaring it." Sam pointed to where the word in the conversation bubble had changed to "Moo?" The cheerful grin on Horsie's face had flattened somewhat, becoming slightly worried-looking. Apparently, Horsie did not care for all the guns in the room.

Making a decision he hoped he would not regret, General Hammond spoke into the microphone. "Stand down."

As the weapons lowered, the Horsie looked much more cheerful again. It even began to bob its head up and down enthusiastically, tapping a long blue stick leg on the gate ramp.

"Well, should we go meet our guest, General?" The Colonel was bored with standing around watching and he was curious to see this StickHorsie up close. Hammond nodded, quickly dismissing some of the airmen in the room. "SG-1, you're with me," he ordered, striding briskly for the stairs, the members of SG-1 falling into place around him.

They soon stood at the bottom of the gate ramp, all of them looking at the StickHorsie. The word in the bubble was still there, but the punctuation at the end of Moo had again changed into a question mark. This time, however, Horsie didn't look quite so worried, merely quizzical.

Daniel stepped forward; it was usually his place to make introductions. "Um, hi. I'm Dr. Daniel Jackson. We mean you no harm." Horsie bobbed its head up and down again, the blue smile coming back. Feeling more confident now, Daniel introduced the rest of his team and also General Hammond. The question mark in the bubble gradually changed to an exclamation point, and the grin on the StickHorsie's face had gotten even larger, if that was possible.

As if coming to a decision, Horsie moved suddenly, turned, and headed towards them down the ramp. Hammond held a hand up to the team of airmen left in the gate room, forestalling them from raising their weapons.

Carefully, Horsie made its way down. Carter narrowed her eyes at the profile StickHorsie presented; from this angle you could barely see it. She was starting to suspect that Horsie might just be less than three micrometers thick and wondered idly if it would consent to coming to her lab for some measurements?

At the end of the ramp, Horsie stopped and turned again, presenting its side rather than the narrow profile it had just shown them. Then another "Moo!" took shape in the conversation bubble over its head and its smile, if possible, grew even larger. Everyone in the Gate room suddenly found it difficult to keep similar grins off of their own faces.

General Hammond cleared his throat, breaking the temporary spell. "Welcome to the SGC, uh… StickHorsie." Hammond hesitated only briefly, glancing quickly at Major Carter as if to confirm what she had called the being now standing in front of him. Horsie nodded its head up and down enthusiastically, as if to confirm that StickHorsie was indeed its name.

Hammond cleared his throat again, before continuing. "StickHorsie, I believe I speak for everyone here when I express my curiosity about what brings you here."

Horsie appeared thoughtful for a moment, and then another moo appeared in the bubble to join the first one, rapidly followed by another. And still another. Soon a string of moos filled the bubble, all of them vying for the front and center position in the bubble until it was just a massive jumble.

The General turned in confusion to Daniel, who was frowning at the bubble. Wordlessly, the man shook his head. He hadn't been joking when he said he really didn't speak Moo. But he wasn't the linguist on the foremost SG team for nothing. Holding up his hands in a placating gesture to stop to flow of moos, Daniel spoke. "StickHorsie, I'm sorry, we don't understand you."

The moos in the bubble abruptly disappeared, as rapidly as the torrent had appeared in the first place, leaving the bubble empty. After a moment, a single moo appeared in the momentarily blank center of the bubble, ending with a few periods, and accompanied by a very sad look on Horsie's blue lined face.

Daniel tilted his head to the side and crossed his arms over his chest, brow furrowed in thought. He glanced quickly at the General, and after the slightest of nods in permission, Daniel took a step forward, lifting his chin up a bit to look at Horsie in the eye. Horsie was about as tall as a regular horse, despite being much thinner.

"You understand us don't you? Even if we can't understand what you are saying?" Daniel was rewarded by the earsplitting grin on Horsie's face, while the moo in the bubble grew an exclamation point and Horsie nodded its head up and down emphatically.

Daniel grinned back. They now had a way to communicate, since Horsie could at least answer yes/no questions.

As Daniel opened his mouth to ask some questions, Horsie surprised everyone by releasing a monstrous yawn. Even Horsie looked startled as it blinked sleepily.

Since it would do no good to question a sleepy StickHorsie, guest quarters were quickly arranged. "Colonel, assign an escort, but no weapons." General Hammond ordered, remembering how it had reacted to the guns earlier. Besides, Hammond thought as the StickHorsie was led from the room with SG-1 trailing in its wake, how much trouble could a stick figure possibly cause anyway?


	3. Napoleonic Power Monger

_Chapter 3: Napoleonic Power Monger_

In the hall outside the Gate room, Daniel hesitated, first glancing at their new companion. Horsie walked in the middle of the group, its head turning this way and that, taking in the sights. Although the underground complex left little to be seen with its long tunnels and drab gray concrete walls, the stick horse didn't seem to find it the least bit dull. Its happy blue face remained unchanged and it seemed content to be surrounded by its new friends.

Daniel cleared his throat, and Horsie's head turned toward him, a quizzical moo in the ever-present conversation bubble above its head. "Uh, Stick Horsie, before we take you to your quarters, there's something we need to do first." Horsie cocked its head to the side and nodded, so Daniel continued. "We just have to stop by the infirmary first, and get you checked out, make sure you're healthy." A slightly worried expression appeared on Horsie's face.

Seeing the worried look, Sam hastened to reassure it. "It's ok Horsie, we all do it, every time we come back through the gate. Dr. Fraiser will be there, you'll like her."

"Oh yeah," muttered O'Neill under his breath, "it'll love the Napoleonic power monger with her big and honkin' needles."

Unfortunately, Horsie overheard O'Neill's offhand remark. Its eyes grew large, and its mouth formed a surprised 'o'. "Mooooooo?" appeared in the bubble, the letters looking a little bit fuzzy. In fact, the Horsie seemed to be shaking just slightly. And was it their imagination, but had Horsie shrunk a little bit? Its head now seemed to be level with their heads.

"I can assure you, StickHorsie, that you will come to no harm from Doctor Fraiser." Teal'c spoke, and the stick horse turned at the sound of the deep voice. "It's really not that bad, Horsie," added Sam. "We can even stay with you the entire time. The Colonel," and Sam shot a quick glare at her CO, "was just exaggerating about the needles."

Although Horsie appeared less apprehensive at their words, it still seemed a bit uncomfortable, and wedged itself in between Sam and Teal'c. A hesitant smile appeared on its face. Sam smiled reassuringly, and Teal'c did his best to appear as unthreatening as possible.

Clearing his throat, Daniel drew their attention. "Well, ok. Uh, lets go see Janet." He turned and led the way to the infirmary. Horsie followed, flanked by Teal'c and Carter. If its steps were just a little hesitant, no one made any comment. There were many curious looks along the way, and more than one double take, but Horsie seemed to take it all in stride, returning the glances with a big smile. There was more than one person wearing a goofy grin inside the mountain that day.

The group arrived at the infirmary, and was immediately greeted by a short reddish-haired woman wearing a lab coat over her air force blues. She greeted them with a big smile, having been warned with a phone call from General Hammond to expect the unusual group. He hadn't mentioned who was accompanying the new being, but she wasn't surprised to find SG-1 in the thick of things.

"So this must be Stick Horsie." She beamed at the this creature standing in front of her and wondered silently what it ate for nourishment, as it didn't seem to be getting enough. Daniel was quick to make introductions, and Stick Horsie bobbed its head, grinning. The one the others called Sam had been right, Horsie did like this Dr. Fraiser.

"Uh, Janet," Sam interrupted, before the petite doctor could lead their new guest behind a curtain. Janet paused, waiting for Sam to speak. "Horsie's a little, um…" she shot another look at the Colonel, who tried to look innocent, before finishing. "Nervous. We promised we'd stay with it."

Janet didn't miss the look, and understood immediately. The Colonel griped to anyone and everyone that would listen to him about needles. The way he went on, you'd think that she saved extra large needles just for him. Although sometimes, she was sorely tempted to use the biggest one she could find. But that wouldn't be ethical. Giving herself a mental shake, Dr. Fraiser turned back to the matter at hand. "We can just start with a basic exam, then maybe a scan next. Sam, why don't you come in with us? The rest of you can wait out here." Horsie seemed to be glued to Sam's side. Sam smiled encouragingly at it and entered the cubicle Janet indicated, the thin blue stick horse hesitating only briefly before following them trustingly.

Janet was gentle, but efficient, explaining everything she planned to do before doing it. They quickly discovered that Horsie was surprisingly soft to the touch, despite its slight metallic shine. They also learned that it was ticklish on its tummy, liked to be rubbed behind its ears, and touching the spot at the base of its tail caused it to quiver all over.

All the equipment in the infirmary fascinated Horsie, so it was easy to get it to agree to several different non-invasive scans. The ultrasound showed nothing, either Horsie's internal organs were so different they didn't appear as organs, or it wouldn't work because Horsie was so thin. The x-ray and CAT scan proved equally uninformative. Sam looked over Janet's shoulder at the latest scan, and exchanged a glance with the other woman. The film looked like a perfect line drawing of Stick Horsie.

Finally, Janet and Sam led Horsie back to the others. It was time for trying a blood test. Since the blood exam would involve a needle, Janet thought it would be best to let Horsie have all of its new friends nearby. The happy grin that had been on Horsie's face wavered slightly, and it clearly looked worried again, especially when Janet returned with a tray bearing the dreaded needle and a few small vials. The doctor frowned when she saw Horsie's face. She didn't want to cause the creature undue stress, but the blood test was necessary. Everyone that came through that gate had to be tested for any potential pathogens among other things, so she couldn't skip the blood test.

"It's not bad Stick Horsie, it's just a tiny little prick, and then we can take a little bit of blood to make sure everything is ok. It'll be over before you know it." Janet tried to sound reassuring, but Horsie still looked worried. All the same, it bravely propped one of its front stick legs on the table when instructed. After all, Sam had said they all did this, and the large one, Teal'c, had promised that it would come to no harm. Horsie knew it liked Teal'c and Sam already, and wanted to trust them. Still, the needle did look rather large, and the grumpy man's comment drifted back into its head just as Janet located a lighter blue marking that seemed to be vein and prepared to quickly insert the needle.

Just before the needle could puncture the skin, Horsie's thin blue leg morphed and flexed, fluidly flowing out of the way of the sharp tip. Janet blinked, wondering if her eyes had deceived her. But no, when she tried a second time the same thing happened. Horsie looked perplexed, obviously not having full conscious control over its ability to stay away from harm.

"Oh for cryin' out loud, its too scared to hold still. Here, let me show it that it's not that bad." Jack pushed in front of Daniel and Teal'c, rolling up his sleeve, the others staring at him in surprise. It was very unlike Jack O'Neill to willingly consent to being on the receiving end of one of Janet's needles, let alone actually volunteer. Jack just glared in reply, holding out his arm.

Recovering quickly, Janet opened another blood drawing needle, and cleaned the Colonel's arm, Jack pointedly watching anything else. Horsie watched with interest as the doctor quickly inserted the needle and filled one of the small tubes up with a bit of the Colonel's red blood. As soon as the vial was full, she covered the site with a cotton ball and withdrew the needle. The Colonel held the cotton ball on and looked smug. "There. That wasn't so bad. You're turn." Janet just rolled her eyes, and fussed with her tray.

Horsie blinked, and cocked its head to the side, looking appraisingly at the usually grumpy man, and back to the nice red haired woman that had been so kind so far. Coming to a decision, it placed its leg back on the table and closed its eyes reflexively, turning its head away for good measure like it had seen the gray haired man do. Janet moved fast, briskly cleaning the site she had identified earlier. Moving to insert the needle, she frowned when at first it did not seem to be able to penetrate. Suddenly, Horsie's skin seemed to morph again, however this time instead of moving out of the way, it seemed to flow over the needle, accepting it. Moments later, an odd blue liquid flowed into the vials. Within seconds, she was done and the needle was out, another cotton ball covering where the needle had gone in, even though the puncture site seemed to have sealed off on its own already. "There, all done," she announced. Horsie opened its eyes in surprise; it was still waiting for the test to be started! But the two full vials were evidence that it was all over. Horsie touched the vials with its nose curiously; it had never seen what was inside it before.

Janet removed the cotton ball, and found no evidence that she'd even inserted a needle there. Amazing. Janet shook her head, filing the puzzle away for later. "Well, we're all done here. Be sure to come back if you feel at all unwell Stick Horsie." Horsie bobbed its head in agreement, and then surprised her by tentatively reaching out and nuzzling her hand, taking the unsoiled cotton ball in its mouth with a hopeful expression on its face. Janet blinked in surprise, but recovered quickly. "Horsie, would you like to keep the cotton ball?" She'd certainly encountered odder things in her years at the SGC. Well, maybe not much odder. Horsie responded by bobbing its head up and down enthusiastically. Janet just smiled and shrugged helplessly at SG-1.

Happily holding onto its lovely bit of soft fluff, Horsie looked expectantly at its new friends, wondering what was next.

The man with the glass circles over his eyes, who Horsie remembered was called Daniel, suggested that now they could take Horsie to its quarters, so it could rest. Blinking, Horsie was caught off guard by another yawn, and decided that sleep would be a very good thing. Willingly, Horsie followed the four people as they led the way to the promised bed.


	4. Finding Sam

_Chapter 4: Finding Sam_

It was dark. Horsie's eyes automatically adjusted to the dim light of the small, gray, square room it found itself in. Its eyes adjusted rapidly, and it could make out dim shapes like a chair, a desk, a lamp, a storage cabinet, and the bed with the slightly lumpy mattress that it was resting in. There was nothing else. The nice people that Horsie had met were conspicuously absent. Somehow, Horsie had thought they would be there when it woke up.

Now that Horsie was awake, it couldn't get back to sleep. And it felt lonely without its new friends, here in the dark empty room, with nothing to do or look at. Perhaps it should go look for its new friends? The blonde lady, Sam she'd said her name was, had said she would come find Horsie in the morning, but surely Sam would not mind if Horsie went to find Sam. Sam had been very nice. And morning seemed like a very long time away.

Mind suddenly made up, Horsie slipped out from under the covers that Sam had gently tucked up around it just a few hours ago, and found itself up between the bed and the wall. Horsie struck a pose, looking for the moment like a mural of a brave explorer, the word, "Moo!" boldly emblazoned in its conversation bubble. But there was no one to see it, and so Horsie moved on. Suddenly, it was possessed by the desire to see if it could fit behind the storage cabinet, so with a bit of squeezing, that's exactly what it did.

"Waaachoooo!"

Yes, indeed, it seemed a stick horsie could fit behind the tall utilitarian storage cabinet. Horsie's new friends did not, however, seem inclined to dust back there rather frequently, so Horsie slipped out the other side, obliviously passing underneath the security camera, which was still aimed at the bed, never having noticed the slight stirring of the covers of an insomniac stick horsie sliding out the wrong side of the bed.

Moving around the small room, Horsie continued with its impromptu game of sticking to the wall and squeezing around the furniture. It even bent its body to accommodate the corners with a bit of amusement. Before it knew it, it was at the door, and presented with the puzzle of how to get around the obstacle in the pathway.

Horsie's friends had made using the door look rather easy. All they had done was take a small plastic card out of their pockets, and then swiped it through that intriguing rectangular box thingy right next to the door… and then… Horsie studied the little box on the wall, even sticking its nose into the slot where its friends had placed their cards, but it only made its nose tingle most uncomfortably. Horsie rubbed its nose against its front leg. It most definitely did not like that box on the wall.

Studying the door again, the curious stick horse could see that light formed an outline of the door all the way around it, and it remembered how it had just roamed around the outside perimeter of the room. With an idea, Horsie popped its nose into the crack of light in the doorframe and squeezed. It took a good bit of maneuvering on Horsie's part, but it soon found itself in a brightly lit corridor.

Just outside the door stood two men, their backs were to the door, and they hadn't noticed that Stick Horsie was no longer sleeping. Horsie didn't recognize these people as its new friends, and memories triggered in stick horse's mind. One recent, of many men in the large room with the big ring, with all the guns pointing at it, making Horsie feel very uncomfortable. And one very distant memory, which said that men like these were here to make sure Horsie stayed where it belonged, and if they saw Horsie, would make sure Horsie went back to bed where it was supposed to be. Which meant that Horsie wouldn't be able to look for Sam.

With that thought, Horsie flattened itself against the wall, and concentrated on looking like a large drawing of a horse. Confident that its disguise was foolproof, the stick horse started to move slowly and carefully along the corridor, ready to freeze at any given moment, and pretend to be only an overly large drawing.

Luck was with Horsie, for the hour was late, and the corridors on this level were nearly deserted. The thin blue stick horse did not encounter anyone, and made it to the first turn without the two guards noticing it. Unfortunately, Horsie was presented with a new problem, for this corridor was a row of doors. It had a feeling that Sam was on this floor, and nearby, but behind which door? Undaunted, Horsie approached the first door and stuck its head into the small space between the door and doorframe.

Pulling its head back out with a little shake, Horsie moved along. Nope, that was not Horsie's Sam. The same proved to be true for the second door. And the third door as well. The fourth and fifth doors proved equally fruitless. Horsie was starting to despair of ever finding Sam; the corridor seemed to go on forever. And then, on the sixth door, Horsie found her. She was asleep. Overjoyed, it pushed itself the rest of the way into the room with Sam.

Horsie's joy was short lived however, when a small whimper from the sleeping occupant on the bed stopped it in its tracks. Confused, Horsie watched its new friend worriedly as the blond woman moved fitfully in her sleep, muttering, and then crying out, "No, please. Please stop! No more! No!" Her cries and movements became more frantic and Horsie found itself moving instinctively to her bedside, intense feelings of protectiveness nearly overwhelming it. Before it even knew what it was doing, if found it was vibrating warmly, and making a soothing rumbling sound.

It approached the dreaming woman slowly, letting her feel its presence, and as she quieted, it started to nuzzle her gently. Almost unconsciously Sam slowly relaxed, her hand moving to grasp Horsie behind its head, and Horsie encouraged the movement, butting its head under her arm. Sam reacted, tugging Horsie closer. Accepting the invitation, Horsie slipped into the bed and under the covers, as Sam's arm slipped around its neck, pulling it into a warm one-armed hug. Carefully, Horsie drew the covers over both of them using its teeth, and Sam sighed, curling on her side, and tucking her head under Horsie's chin. With a blissful sigh of its own, Horsie rested its own head on top of Sam's soft blond hair and drifted to sleep, content.


	5. Dreams of Moo

_A/N: As usual, thanks to Darskywise, my beta and editor, and Stickhorsie's dad (lol) for his extra special help with Moo X-Treme. Grammar checks, spelling checks, editing, and sometimes a little bit of rewriting! And thanks to the readers, for taking a chance on this unusual and unique crossover! I'm glad you are having fun!_

_Chapter 5: Dreams of Moo_

Sam felt incredibly comfortable and warm. In fact she had never slept so well in a long time, and most especially not while using her on-base quarters and the universally lumpy military issue mattress that came standard in all on base quarters. Sam stretched lazily, enjoying the rare feeling of waking and feeling completely rested. She rolled over and then several things happened at the same time.

There was a knock at her door. She turned, only to discover she was not alone in her bed like she'd been when she'd gone to sleep the night before. Needless to say, she was completely startled. With her brain still fogged with sleep, her military honed reflexes kicked in and she gave a startled shriek, scrabbling backwards, the bed linens hopelessly tangling in her legs and resulting in her falling out of the other side of the bed in an ungraceful heap.

The other occupant of the bed, which she could have sworn had the letters "Moozzz" superimposed above its head, sprang awake with a look of shock on its face. Before she had taken in its presence, it was out of the bed, across the room and out of sight so fast it looked like a blue blur and she almost thought she'd imagined it being there with her for a moment.

But she hadn't imagined it, and her door slammed open as Colonel O'Neill used his access card to unlock her door at her scream, bursting into the room ready to tackle anything, the hulking form of Teal'c a split second behind him.

"Carter?" Jack's hawk eyes darted around the room before he spotted her behind the bed and on the floor, tangled in a mass of blankets, trying without much success to extricate herself. Leaving Teal'c at the entrance, Jack crossed the room to offer her a hand, but Sam just waved him off.

"Sir, Stick Horsie is in here, I think I scared it when I woke up and found it in bed next to me. I didn't know it was here. It must have come in while I was asleep." Her voice held a note of urgency as she struggled to pull her upper body up above the bed, searching the room for any sign of the missing blue horse.

Jack's eyes widened and his eyebrows rose. The stick horse had been under surveillance all night long, and he'd been told it hadn't even moved from its bed the entire night. He and Teal'c were collecting Carter and Daniel before checking in on it this morning. Apparently, Horsie had gone wandering and had gotten lonely. He had just opened his mouth to rib Carter about her new cuddly Horsie toy, when he heard the sound of Teal'c's voice.

"O'Neill." Teal'c was pointing to the far corner, where Stick Horsie was unsuccessfully trying to hide behind the standing lamp in Sam's quarters. It was quivering, making the lamp rattle.

"Oh for cryin' out loud," Jack muttered, running his hand through his hair.

Sam finally extracted herself from the pile of blankets on the floor, and moved to stand beside the Colonel. Daniel appeared in the doorway looking cheerful, and noticing him, Sam made frantic motions for him to stay quiet, pointing to the corner. Daniel's eyes widened when he saw what was in the corner, but he just nodded and stayed put, deciding to let them handle it.

Jack looked at Sam. "Well, any ideas?" he asked quietly. It had been in _her_ bed after all.

Sam just watched the badly frightened creature and shook her head, eyes wide. "No sir." She wet her lips nervously.

Teal'c studied the scene. Stepping forward with confidence, and a gentleness they seldom saw, Teal'c approached the corner. "Stick Horsie. You will not come to harm here. Major Carter was merely frightened; she did not expect you in her quarters this morning. You must come out now, it is time to break our morning fast." Teal'c stopped about a foot away from the thin blue being, and held his hand outstretched, offering the promise of protection and friendship. A moment later a blue nose appeared, gently whuffling the hand. The rest of the stick horse soon followed, a slightly hesitant smile on its face, and a quizzical "moo?" in the bubble.

Sam smiled to see Horsie appear, and at the appearance of Sam's smile, Horsie's smile grew more confident too. Sam walked over to Horsie as well, and tentatively reached out a hand. Sensing what she wanted, Horsie met her halfway, butting its head up under her hand, putting its ears right where the perfect spot for a scratch was in open invitation. With a laugh, Sam obliged, and the tension drained from the room as if it had never been there.

Jack grinned boyishly, and bounced up on the balls of his feet, clapping his hands together, making everyone look at him. "Ok, lets eat, I'm starved."

Suddenly remembering she'd just woken up, Sam glanced down at her rumpled gray "Property of the US Air Force" T-shirt, soft shorts she'd worn to sleep in, and ran a hand through her disheveled hair. "Uh, guys, why don't I meet you there." She blushed, staring down at her bare feet.

"Tell ya what Carter, we'll grab a table, and wait for you, how does that sound?" The Colonel waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Horsie watched the interplay with interest.

Sam smiled and nodded. "Ok, I just need a few minutes, I'll be right there." Horsie seemed reluctant to leave Sam behind, but the other three were insistent that she be given something called "privacy" and assured Horsie that she would rejoin them shortly, so Horsie followed the three men to this place called the commissary, curious as to what sort of place it might be.

A few minutes later, they arrived in a moderately sized room, the same dull gray as the rest of the place, but this room was filled with many small tables, which were covered in attractive blue tablecloths. One end of the room was taken up with an array of shelves upon which were displayed a variety of food items. There were a few people in the room, they all looked up as the group entered, some doing double takes, but everyone smiled when they saw the new guest. Horsie couldn't help but smile in return. Horsie followed its friends over to a large table in the corner.

They weren't waiting very long before Sam appeared. The others stood up to greet her, and moved towards the rack of shelves with food. Horsie followed behind the group curiously, eager to participate, watching as the others picked up trays and started to place different items on them. Daniel turned to Horsie. "So, what would you like Horsie?" Horsie looked at the spread that was laid out, its eyes widening just a bit. There were so many different things to choose from, each more tempting than the last. Horsie didn't know how its friends could decide!

Fortunately, Sam seemed to sense its indecision. "If you like, Horsie, we can just get extra of what we usually like, and you can try some of what we're having. Would you like that?" At Horsie's emphatic nod, they all added extra small servings to their trays of their favorite breakfast dishes and headed back to their chosen table in the corner.

After all had sat down, Horsie leisurely walked around the table, sticking its head in between its new friends, cheerfully sampling bits, pieces and sips from everybody's cups and plates. The frosted cereal that the Colonel usually preferred was a big success, as were the fruit, toast and pancakes. But after loudly sneezing Carter's diet soda (which had lots of fascinating bubbles in it) all over her breakfast and some thoughtful munching on the table's flower arrangement, Jack suddenly had an idea and slipped off to the kitchen for something while the other three decided to distract Horsie with some of the other beverages.

It was quickly decided that caffeine and Stick Horsies were not a good combination, however. The smallest sip of coffee caused Horsie to literally bounce several times, knocking into the table until Teal'c finally managed to hold it steady, while at the same time stuffing his fruit juice underneath Horsie's mouth, who managed to keep still just long enough to take a few sips. Immediately, Horsie subsided, looking quite relieved the ordeal was over.

Then Jack returned from the kitchen with a big grin, carrying several cups of something shiny in various colors. "I got them to give me a few early, as soon as they heard who it was for." Jack set the tray down, and Horsie, after giving all the cups a thorough look over, nosed the one that had the blue stuff in it. Jack grinned, and pushed the cup, making the stuff inside jiggle in a curious manner. "That one is Carter's favorite, but I don't think she'll mind sharing her Jell-O today." Horsie looked to Sam who was smiling, and Horsie smiled back.

The Jell-O was interesting, but even more interesting was the effect it had on Horsie. At first, nothing happened. And then, suddenly, Horsie felt an odd movement start somewhere in its middle. It was gone as fast as it had begun. But then it came again, and this time, it spread, all the way out to its tail, down its legs, and up its neck to its head. And then, it was gone again. Horsie gave itself a little shake. The only trouble was, Horsie's body suddenly shook back, and the jiggling was not unlike the cup full of Jell-O that Horsie had just helped Sam eat. Horsie realized that all four humans were staring at it in surprise, and decided they needed an explanation.

"Moo!" It said, the letters going all jiggly, just like the rest of its body was doing at the moment.

Sam blinked, and pulled the mostly finished glass of Jell-O away, and exchanged a glance with the others. "Uh, I think no more Jell-O for you either Horsie." She said while finishing the rest of the Jell-O herself. After all, she hadn't been able to have the rest of her breakfast after Horsie had sneezed on it! Horsie tried to look disappointed, but was jiggling too much to really pull off the effect.

Fortunately, Jack noticed. "Don't worry Horsie, for lunch, I'll make sure to introduce you to cake." He smiled, ignoring Daniel's rolled eyes, Sam's snort, and Teal'c's raised eyebrow.

Daniel pushed back from the table. "Well, I hate to eat and run, but SG-11 just brought back some tablets night that need translating right away. So I really need to go get started on them."

"I too have duties I must attend this morning." Teal'c rose, inclining his head to the others before following after Daniel.

Sam looked over at Horsie. "Uh, Stick Horsie, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming to my lab with me today? I have some equipment in there that I'd like to use to take a few measurements with. It would really help us to learn how you were able to fit past our iris like you did."

Horsie bobbed its head up and down enthusiastically, making it jiggle even more. When everyone had started to leave, Horsie had started to get worried that it would be left alone. "Moo!" the bubble said. Sam was so silly, thinking Horsie would say anything except yes to going anywhere with Sam.

Sam laughed at Horsie's eagerness. "Ok then!"

"I'll come by later and drag you two off for lunch, ok Carter? Knowing you, you'll probably be buried in your lab all day with the poor thing if I don't go and rescue it." Jack's tone held a gentle admonishment, but his face was smiling. He knew how focused Carter got on her work, which is why he planned to stop by several times today, to make sure their new guest didn't spend the entire day cooped up in the lab, and Carter remembered to eat and sleep.

She smiled, taking the gentle rebuke as it was intended. "Yes sir, see you at lunch." Sam led the way out of the commissary, and Horsie followed, still jiggling every other step.


End file.
